The Story of Barak's Headache

Judges 4:1-24

All of Beth's friends were really impressed with her mother's story-telling ability.
"Do you know any more stories, Mrs. Christian?" asked Elizabeth.
"Like something about a psychopathic killer?" asked Theresa.
Beth's mother put her finger to her lips, considering the question. "Well," she said, "I suppose that I could tell one more story, but then you all have to go home and get some sleep, all right?"
"Sure!" said all the girls together, leaning forward to hear the new story.
And this is the story she told:

One day, after Ehud was dead, the Israelites went back to worshipping gods other than God, so God let King Jabin of Canaan take them over. This made the Israelites complain because King Jabin had nine hundred iron chariots and a hook for a hand* and he treated them (the Israelites) bad for twenty years.
There was a prophet named Deborah living in Israel about then and she was a judge. Deborah lived under a palm tree named Deborah on mount Ephraim. The Israelites came to her and asked what they should do about King Jabin.
Deborah sent for a man named Barak and said to him, "Didn't God say, 'Take ten thousand of Naphtali's and Zebulun's kids and go to Tabor. I'll lead Jabin's army to you and help you beat them'?"
Barak answered, "I'll go if you go."
"Okay," said Deborah. "But this isn't going to make you famous. A woman is going to get all the credit."
So Deborah and Barak got an army of ten thousand men and went to Kedesh where King Jabin lived. King Jabin's army met them on the way there, but with God's help Barek and his ten thousand men beat King Jabin's General Sisera and his nine hundred iron chariots without too much trouble. Barek made sure that not even one of their enemies survived except for General Sisera who ran away.
Sisera went to hide in the tent of a woman named Jael who was the wife of a friend of his. Jael put a cloak over Sisera to hide him and gave him some milk when he asked for a glass of water.
When he was good and hidden, Sisera said to Jael, "Stand at the front of the tent, and if anyone comes up and asks if there's a man inside, say 'No'."
After a little bit, Jael got a tent peg and a hammer and snuck up on Sisera. She used the tent peg to nail his head to the ground. Sisera didn't notice because he was asleep, and he died without waking up.
Barak was still chasing after Sisera, and when he got to Jael's tent, she came out and said, "Hey, look!" Barak followed her into the tent and saw Sisera nailed to the ground.
That's how God made King Jabin be good to the Israelites. After that, the Israelites had no problem getting rid of him.

Beth and her friends thought about all this for a moment. Then they smiled and all hugged Beth's mother.
"What a great story," said Theresa.
"That Jael was a real psycho," said Beelzebabs.
"I sure wouldn't stay in her tent," said Elizabeth.
And they all went home and had horrible nightmares all night.

* This detail is an embellishment and does not appear in most reliable ancient texts.