The Story of the Great Escape

Exodus 3:1 - 14:31

While she was with her mother at the dry cleaners, Beth saw a man with a shirt that said "If there is a God then why is it Monday?" She asked her mother what the shirt meant, and her mother answered, "That is a nasty shirt, Dear One. I think it means that the man doesn't believe in God." That gave Beth something to think about.
"Why are there some people who don't believe in God?" Beth asked her mother when they were back in the car. "God does so many amazing things like make lightning and build earthquake faults and invent new diseases. I would think people would have to believe in him."
"Some people don't believe because God doesn't want them to believe, Dear One," her mother answered. "We have to drive to the library next, and on the way I'll tell you a story about a king of Egypt -- in Egypt they call the king 'Pharaoh' -- who would have listened to God if God had let him."
And this is the really long story she told:

One day, Moses was taking care of his father-in-law's sheep when he found a mountain named Horeb. Horeb was a holy mountain, and Moses met an angel there who looked like a bush on fire.
Moses said, "Hey, there's a bush on fire, but the bush isn't burning down. I've got to see this." And he started to walk toward the bush.
Then Moses heard God's voice. "Hey, Moses," said God.
"Here I am," said Moses.
"Take off your shoes before you come over here by the bush," said God. "This is a holy place. I'm God, by the way," said God.
So Moses hid his face because he was afraid of looking at God.
God said, "I guess you've seen how unhappy the Hebrews in Egypt are. Boy do they complain a lot. I thought I'd come down to help them leave the Egyptians and go somewhere where there's rivers made out of milk and honey. There's a place like that where the Canaanites, the Hittites, and other people live. So I was thinking, 'I'll send Moses to Pharaoh to take the Hebrews out of Egypt.'
"Come on, Moses," God continued, "let's get going."
"Why are you talking to me?" Moses asked. "I'm nobody."
"You're not nobody if I'm with you," said God.
Moses was still not convinced. "But when I go to the Hebrews and say, 'God told me to come get you,' they'll say, 'Oh, sure. Well, if you're so smart, tell us what God's name is.' Then what do I say?"
"Tell them that I Am sent you," said God. "Then tell them that I'm going to lead you to the land of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and other people, and that there's rivers of milk and honey there. They'll listen to you after that. Then you can go to Pharaoh and say that God told him to let the Hebrews go into the desert for three days to kill animals for God. He probably won't let you go, so I'll reach out my hand and hit Egypt with magic that will change Pharaoh's mind. After that, he'll let you go. And when you leave, you should steal all the silver, all the gold, and all the nice clothes that you can carry so that the Egyptians lose everything."
Moses said, "Look, they aren't going to believe me. They're going to say I'm a liar and that I never talked to God."
"What's that in your hand?" God asked Moses.
"That's a stick," said Moses.
"Drop it."
Moses dropped his stick and it turned into a snake, so Moses ran away.
Then God said to Moses, "Just pick up the snake by the tail." When Moses did that, it turned back into a stick again. "If you do that, people will believe you talked to me," said God.
"Now try this," God said. "Stick your hand in your shirt." Moses stuck his hand in his shirt and when he pulled it out again, it was covered with some kind of really gross disease. "Put your hand back in your shirt," said God. So Moses put his hand back in his shirt, and when he took it out again, it was normal. Moses was pretty relieved.
"If they don't believe you after the snake trick, do the hand thing and they'll listen," said God. "But if they don't, then you should pour some water from the river onto dry land and it will turn to blood."
Moses said, "God, I'm not a good public speaker. I have a horrible speech impediment."
"I made your mouth," God said, "I can fix it. I'll stay with your mouth so that it says the right things."
"Couldn't you just send someone with me?" asked Moses.
This really made God peeved. "You've got a brother named Aaron, right?" said God. "He is a good speaker and look, here he comes now. He'll be happy to see you. I'll tell you to tell him what to say and he'll say it to people. It'll be like he's your mouth. Just remember to take your stick with you to do magic with."
So Moses went back to his father-in-law and said, "I'm going to go and check if my relatives are still alive."
"Okay," said his father-in-law. "Have a nice day."
When Moses got back home, he got his wife and children and put them on a donkey and headed off to Egypt. Moses remembered to bring his stick, too.
On the way, God said to Moses, "When you get to Egypt, you're going to do magic in front of Pharaoh like I taught you to. But if the magic convinces Pharaoh to let you go, then I'll use my magic to change his mind. Then you should tell Pharaoh that unless he let's you go, you'll kill his son."

"I see," interrupted Beth. "Even if Pharaoh had wanted to let the Hebrews go at first, God would convince him that he was making a mistake."
"That's right, Dear One," her mother answered.
"But why would God do that to poor Pharaoh?" asked Beth.
"Just listen and you'll see."

Then God told Aaron to go into the desert to meet Moses. Aaron met Moses and Moses told him all about what God had said. Then they went to the leaders of the Hebrews in Egypt and did the snake trick, and the disease trick, and the water-into-blood trick, and everyone was really impressed.
When they were done, Moses and Aaron went to see Pharaoh. "God says that you should let my people (the Hebrews) go and have a big party in the desert," they said to Pharaoh.
"Who is God to tell me what to do?" asked Pharaoh. "I don't think I know him."
"He's the God of the Hebrews," they said. "Please can we go? We'll just be gone three days to walk in the desert and kill some animals for God. If we don't go, he'll make us all sick or maybe stab us." All of this was a lie, actually, but Pharaoh didn't know that.
Pharaoh said, "You're stopping people from doing their work." Then Pharaoh ordered that the Egyptians who were in charge of the Hebrews shouldn't give the Hebrews stuff to make bricks with any more. "Let them get their own stuff," he said. "They only want to go into the desert because they don't have enough to do. Make them work harder." So the Egyptians who were in charge of the Hebrews did what Pharaoh told them to. They even beat some Hebrews up for not working hard enough.
Some of the leaders of the Hebrews got together and went to Pharaoh and said, "Why are you being so mean to us?"
Pharaoh answered, "Because you are lazy and want to go into the desert to set animals on fire. Get back to work!"
The leaders of the Hebrews knew that they had a big problem and when they saw Moses and Aaron they said, "I hope that God gets mad at you for making Pharaoh upset at us. Now he wants us dead."
So Moses went back to God and said, "God, why are you treating people so bad? Is that what you sent me to do? Ever since I got here, Pharaoh has been being really mean, and you haven't saved everyone."
Then God said to Moses, "Just wait and see, he'll make the Hebrews leave. I'm God. I promised your parents and your grandparents and your great-grandparents and earlier grandparents that they'd live in Canaan. I've heard the Hebrews complaining about being slaves of the Egyptians and that made me remember the promise. I'll set the Hebrews free and make them my people. Also, I'll bring you to the land that I promised your parents and your grandparents and your great-grandparents and earlier grandparents. I'm God."
Moses went to the Hebrews and talk them, but they were too depressed to listen.
Then God said to Moses, "Go talk to Pharaoh and ask him to let the Hebrews go."
"But the Hebrews didn't listen to me," said Moses. "Why should Pharaoh listen to me when nobody has ever cut off the end of the penis of his lips?"

"What does that mean?" asked Beth, startled by the strange picture of Pharaoh that had come into her head.
"Remember that the Egyptians were very different from the Hebrews, Dear One," said her mother. "Remember also that you should never judge another person by how they look."
"Um, okay," said Beth.

God told Moses and Aaron to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let the Hebrews go anyway.
Later that day, God said to Moses, "I'm God. Go to Pharaoh and tell him what I told you to tell him."
Moses complained about the penis of Pharaoh's lips again, so God said, "I'll make you a god to Pharaoh, and Aaron will be a prophet. Just tell Aaron to tell Pharaoh what I tell you to tell him to tell Pharaoh. Tell him to let the Hebrews go and I will make sure that Pharaoh says 'no' so that we can do some impressive magic to convince him. That will convince the Egyptians that I'm God."
Moses and Aaron did what God told them to do.

"I get it," said Beth, interrupting again. "God had lots of magic that he wanted to do and if Pharaoh let the Hebrews go too soon, he wouldn't get a chance to do it all!" She was very proud of herself for figuring it out.
"That's right, Dear One," said Beth's mother. "It would be like people walking out of a show before the end. And because God saved his really big magic for last, he had to make sure that the Hebrews stayed with the Egyptians until he was done. Of course, at this point in the story Moses hasn't even shown the snake trick to Pharaoh. Wouldn't it be a shame if Pharaoh had let them go before he got a chance to do that at least?"
"It sure would!" said Beth. Then she sat back and let her mother continue.

When Pharaoh asked them to do some magic, Aaron threw down Moses' stick and it turned into a snake.
Pharaoh called his magicians and they threw down their sticks and all of their sticks turned into snakes, too.

"Wait a minute!" interrupted Beth. "Why did God make the magicians' sticks turn into snakes, too? Wouldn't it have been more impressive to Pharaoh if only Moses' had changed?"
Beth's mother smiled gently. "God didn't turn the magicians' sticks into snakes. One of the Egyptian gods did that."
"You mean that there are other gods than God?" asked Beth, puzzled.
"Of course, Dear One," said her mother. "We don't worship them because that would be a sin, but they are there. Our God is the best god, so we don't need any others anyway. Now listen to the story and you will see that God's stick snake is better than the Egyptians' god's stick snake."
"Okay" said Beth.

As soon as the magicians turned their sticks into snakes, the snake that used to be Moses' stick ate the magicians' stick snakes. This would have convinced Pharaoh to let the Hebrews go, but God used his magic to make sure that it didn't.
God said to Moses, "I made sure that Pharaoh will not let the Hebrews go. In the morning, take your stick and say to Pharaoh, 'God asked you to let the Hebrews go and work for him in the desert, but you wouldn't do it. So here's proof of God's powers.' Then hit the water with your stick and the river will turn into blood. That will make all the fish die, and the water will stink so nobody will want to drink it. Then, tell Aaron to take your stick and turn all the water in Egypt into blood."
So Moses and Aaron did what God told them to do and turned all the water into blood.
The magicians of Egypt showed that they could do the same thing, so Pharaoh wasn't really impressed. He went back into his house.
Meanwhile, everyone in Egypt had to dig for water because all the other water was blood. It took seven days for the water to get better.
God told Moses, "Go to Pharaoh and tell him that he should let the Hebrews go or I will surround Egypt with frogs and lots of frogs will come out of the river." God also said that the frogs would go into the houses, and into people's bedrooms, and onto their beds, and on top of people, and into ovens, and into bread dough.
Then God told Moses to tell Aaron to hold the stick over streams and rivers so that frogs would come out of them. Aaron did it, and the frogs came and hopped all over everything.
The Pharaoh's magicians showed that they could do the same thing.
Then Pharaoh called Moses and Aaron and said, "Please ask God to get rid of the frogs and I will let the Hebrews go set fire to animals in the desert."
Moses said to Pharaoh, "Tell me, when should I make the frogs go away?"
"Tomorrow would be fine," said Pharaoh.
"I'll do what you said to show that there is nobody greater than God," said Moses. "After tomorrow, the frogs will stay in the river."
Moses and Aaron left Pharaoh and Moses yelled to God about the frogs.
God listened, and all the frogs that weren't in the river died. People made big piles of the dead frogs and the piles of rotting frog bodies made an enormous stink.
When Pharaoh saw that the frogs were dead and stacked in big piles, he changed his mind about letting the Hebrews go.
So God said to Moses, "Tell Aaron to hit the dust with the stick so that it will turn into lice."
Aaron did what God said, and the dust turned into lice. The lice went to live in people and in animals. All the dust in Egypt turned into lice.
The Pharaoh's magicians tried to make lice of their own, but they couldn't. So the magicians went to Pharaoh and said, "I think that God made the lice." But Pharaoh didn't listen to them.
Then God told Moses, "Get up early in the morning and go the Pharaoh when he gets out of the bath. Say to him, 'Let the Hebrews go so that they can work for God. Otherwise, I'll send flies to cover you, your servants, and your people. Every Egyptian house will be filled with flies and so will the ground. Also, no flies will be where the Hebrews live so that you will see that it is the work of God.' Tell him that you'll do that tomorrow."
Moses did what God told him to do, and the next day a big swarm of flies covered everything in Egypt except for where the Hebrews lived. It made everything gross.

Beth interrupted her mother again saying, "God made sure that the flies didn't go near the Hebrews, but what about the frogs and the lice and the river of blood?"
"The Hebrews were hurt by those things just like the Egyptians were," answered her mother.
"It sure would have been nice if God had thought about not punishing the Hebrews along with the Egyptians earlier," said Beth.
"That is true, Dear One," said her mother. "But I'm sure he had his reasons."

Because of the flies, Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron and said, "Leave, set fire to things for God."
And Moses said, "We can't do that here or people will get mad at us. We've got to do it in the desert. It will only take three days."
"I'll let you go and set fire to things in the desert for God," said Pharaoh. "Just don't go too far away."
Moses said, "Look, I'll leave and ask God to make the flies go away tomorrow, but don't you dare change your mind about letting the Hebrews go."
So Moses left Pharaoh and asked God to take away the flies. God took all the flies away, but Pharaoh changed his mind about letting the Hebrews go.
Then God said to Moses, "Go tell Pharaoh that I said let the Hebrews go or tomorrow I will kill all the Egyptians' cows, horses, donkeys, camels, oxes, and sheep." God said that he wouldn't kill the Hebrews' animals, though.
When the next day came, God killed all the animals like he said he would.
Pharaoh checked to see if any of the Hebrews' animals had died, but they hadn't. Still, he didn't let the Hebrews go.
Then God said to Moses and Aaron, "Get ashes from a furnace and have Moses throw them into the air in front of Pharaoh. The ashes will turn into dust and the dust will make boils appear on all the people and animals in Egypt."
Moses did what God told him to and every Egyptian person and animal was covered with boils. The Pharaoh's magicians couldn't even stand up because they were so covered in boils.
This might have changed Pharaoh's mind, but God used his magic to make sure that it didn't.
After that, God said to Moses, "Get up early in the morning, go to Pharaoh, and tell him that God wants the Hebrews to go into the desert and work for him. Warn him that, if he doesn't, I'll make everyone really sick. Then tomorrow I'll make it hail really hard." God warned Moses that everything outside would be killed by the hail.
Moses told Pharaoh everything that God had said, and it made the Egyptians so scared that they brought all of their cows in from their fields so that they would be safe inside.

"I thought that God had already killed all the cows?" said Beth, stifling a yawn.
"That's right, Dear One," said her mother. "You are very observant."

God told Moses to stretch out his hand, and God sent thunder and hail raining down on Egypt. God made the ground catch on fire, and some of the hail was on fire, too. The last time that had happened, Egypt wasn't even a country yet.
The hail killed everything in Egypt that was outdoors. It destroyed plants and trees. But the hail didn't kill anything where the Hebrews lived.
After that, Pharaoh sent for Moses and Aaron. He said to them, "I've made a mistake. God is good, Egyptians are bad. Ask God to stop the thunder and hail and I'll let the Hebrews go."
"I'll open my hands to God after we are out of the city," said Moses, "and the thunder and hail will stop. But I know that you're not afraid of God, and that only some of your crops were destroyed because some of them are still seeds."
Moses left the Pharaoh's city and opened his hands to God so that the thunder, hail, and rain stopped. When Pharaoh saw that they had stopped, he changed his mind again and decided not to let the Hebrews go.
God said to Moses, "I've used magic to make Pharaoh change his mind again because I wasn't done doing amazing things in Egypt. I need to do more so that you can brag about it to your children."
Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said, "God wants to know how long you are going to keep the Hebrews from going into the desert to work for him. If you don't change your mind, God's going to send so many locusts that you won't be able to see. Also, the locusts will eat all the plant seeds that the hail didn't destroy and all the trees. They'll get in your house, too." Then he left.
Some of Pharaoh's servants came to him and said, "We've had about enough of this. Why don't you let the Hebrews go into the desert to work for God? Otherwise, Egypt will be really messed up."
So Pharaoh called Moses and Aaron and said, "Okay, you can go. Who do you want to take with you?"
"Everyone," said Moses. "And their animals, too. We're going to have a big party for God."
"Not a chance," said Pharaoh. "You only need the men to work for God." And Pharaoh's servants chased them off.
God told Moses to stretch his hands out over Egypt to call the locusts.
Moses stretched his stick out over Egypt and God brought up a wind from the east which lasted all day and night, and in the morning the wind brought locusts with it.
The locusts were all over the place, from coast to coast. They were really annoying. There were so many of them that the land was dark, and they ate all the vegetables and trees in Egypt.
Then Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron to come see him in a hurry. "Okay, I was wrong," Pharaoh said to them. "Please forgive me and ask God to get rid of the locusts."
Moses went outside to talk to God and told him what Pharaoh had said.
Hearing Moses, God brought a west wind that swept all the locusts out into the Red Sea. But when he was done, God used his magic to make Pharaoh change his mind so that he wouldn't let the Hebrews go.
God said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand toward the sky and it will get dark." So Moses did as he was told and heavy darkness covered Egypt for three days and nobody could see each other. Only the Hebrews had light in their houses.
Pharaoh called Moses and said, "Leave, work for God, but leave your sheep and cows behind. You can even take your children with you."
"But we have to bring the animals so that we can set them on fire for God," said Moses. "We have to take all our animals with us."
God used his magic to make sure that Pharaoh wouldn't give in. "Leave and don't come back," said Pharaoh to Moses. "If you come back, you will die."
"Fine with me," said Moses.
God said to Moses, "I've got one plague left, and after that Pharaoh will let you go. Tell all the Hebrews to borrow money, jewels, gold, and silver from the Egyptians" God made the Egyptians trust the Hebrews so that they would loan them valuable things.
When this was done, Moses told Pharaoh's servants, "God says that I should go into the middle of Egypt at midnight. Then, all the oldest children in Egypt will die. Even the Pharaoh's oldest child, and his maid's oldest child, and the animals' oldest children. This will make the Egyptians really, really upset. But God won't kill the Hebrews' children, so that you will know that God thinks they're better than the Egyptians. When the Egyptians beg the Hebrews to leave, then they will leave."
Later, God told Moses, "I'll use my magic to make sure that Pharaoh doesn't listen to you because I'm still not done doing magic."
Moses and Aaron did magic for Pharaoh but God didn't let Pharaoh change his mind and let the Hebrews go.
God gave Moses and Aaron some instructions. He said, "This month is going to be the first month of the year, as far as you are concerned. On the tenth, every man should take a nice-looking, year-old, lamb from its mother. Then, on the fourteenth, everyone should kill their lambs and paints its blood all around the doors to their houses. After that, they can eat their dead baby lambs." Then God gave Moses a recipe which the Hebrews should use to cook their baby lambs and told them to make sure they cleaned their plates. He also told them to eat fast because that was going to be the night when he killed all the oldest Egyptian children.
"Don't worry," said God. "I won't kill any Hebrew children. I'll know where Hebrews live because they'll have blood around their doors. Just remember this day and celebrate it every year or I'll throw you out of the country."
Moses told all this to the Hebrews, and they did as they were told.
At midnight, God killed all the oldest children in Egypt, including the oldest animals.

"I thought that God had already killed all the Egyptian animals," said Beth.
"That's right, Dear One," said her mother, sighing. "I am pleased that you are curious but please don't interrupt any more. This is a long enough story as it is."
"Sorry," said Beth, her eyes drooping.

Everyone in Egypt, even the Pharaoh, got up in the middle of the night and got upset about this.
Then Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron in the middle of the night and said, "That's enough. Get out of town and take the Hebrews and their animals with you." The Egyptians were very insistent that the Hebrews leave soon.
The Hebrews got all their stuff together and left, bringing all the jewels, silver, gold, and nice clothing that they had "borrowed" from the Egyptians with them. This ruined the Egyptians financially.
There were about six-hundred thousand grown men, plus women, children, and lots of animals. While the people traveled, they made flat bread and God reminded them to celebrate the day that he killed the oldest children every year. He also reminded the men that they should cut off the ends of their penises.
God told Moses where to have his people rest. "If the people stay here," said God, "Pharaoh will think that they are having trouble getting out of Egypt. I'll use my magic to make Pharaoh want to follow them and that way I can do more magic to him."
When Pharaoh heard that the Hebrews had left, God used magic to make him regret letting them go. "What have I done," Pharaoh said. "Now we don't have any slaves." So the Pharaoh got his chariot and his army and went to chase the Hebrews.
The Pharaoh's army caught up with the Hebrews, and that made the Hebrews scared. "Did you lead us out of Egypt to die in the desert?" the Hebrews asked Moses. "We'd rather be slaves than dead."
"Don't worry," Moses said. "God will take care of us."
God told Moses, "Tell the Hebrews to get moving, and hold your stick out over the sea so that it will divide into two. Then the Hebrews can walk right through the middle of the sea on dry land. I'll use my magic to make sure that the Egyptians follow you, even if they don't want to, so that I can hurt them and they'll know that I am God."
When the Hebrews got to the sea, Moses held his stick over it like God had told him to. A big wind came from the east and blew all night until the sea was split down the middle by dry land.
All the Hebrews walked on the dry land in the middle of the sea, and the Egyptians followed them.
In the morning, God saw the Egyptians and made the wheels of their chariots fall off. "Let's get out of here!" said the Egyptians, when they realized that there was magic going on.
Then God told Moses to reach out over the water so that it would cover the dry land again and drown the Egyptians and their horses. Moses did as he was told, and not even one of the Egyptians got out alive.
And that's how God saved the Hebrews from the Egyptians.

"So you see," said Beth's mother, "If God hadn't kept making sure that Pharaoh didn't release the Hebrews, Pharaoh might have let them go right away. That wouldn't have made a very good story, now would it?"
And all of Beth's questions would have been answered if she hadn't fallen asleep during the part about stealing everyone's jewelry.