The Story of Eating Animals

Leviticus 11:1-31, 41-47

Beth's cousin John was visiting for the weekend along with his family. John was a toddler, only three years old, and Beth thought that he was really funny. While Beth was burying something she had accidentally broken in the back yard, she saw John walking around in just his diapers and holding a honey sandwich. Then she saw him catch a cricket, rub it in honey, and eat it.
Beth thought this was gross and ran to tell her mother.
"Mother!" she said, barely able to talk because she was feeling so nauseous and disgusted. "John was eating crickets with honey! That's bad, isn't it?"
"Not at all, Dear One," said her mother. "Let me tell you what the Bible has to say on that subject."
And this is the story she told:

One day, God was talking to Moses and Aaron and he said, "Here's some rules about what animals people should eat."
"If an animal has hooves that are split in the middle, and it eats its food and then barfs it up and eats it again, then you can eat it. But if an animal has hooves that aren't split, like camels, and rabbits, and hares, then you shouldn't eat it. And if an animal has hooves that are split but doesn't barf up its food and eat it again, like pigs, then you shouldn't eat it. In fact, you shouldn't even touch these animals, even if they are dead, because they are icky."

"We eat cows," said Beth. "Does that mean that cows eat their own barf?"
"Yes, Dear One," said her mother.

"You can eat fish, as long as they have fins and scales and live in the sea or in a river. But things that live in the water and don't have fins and scales are gross. You shouldn't eat anything gross.

"So I could eat my goldfish but not shrimps?" said Beth.
"You are right about the shrimp, Dear One," said her mother, "but not the goldfish. Your goldfish doesn't live in the sea or in a river. That's why we couldn't eat any of the fish that your father caught up at Lake Waterwaka last summer."
"I get it," said Beth.

"You can eat some birds, but not eagles, ossifrages, ospreys, vultures, kites, ravens, owls, hawks, cuckoos, little owls, cormorants, big owls, swans, pelicans, storks, herons, lapwings, and bats. And any bird that has four legs is gross. But you can eat things that fly and have four legs as long as they have feet and can hop. That means that you can eat all the locusts, beetles, and grasshoppers you want. But anything else that flies and has four feet is gross. If you touch a dead gross animal, they you are icky."

"Let's see," said Beth. "Chickens are all right but flying squirrels aren't, right?"
"Yes, Dear One," said her mother. "Unless flying squirrels can hop. I'm not sure about that."
Beth thought for a moment and said, "But flying squirrels are animals that don't have hooves that are split in the middle so we can't eat them."
"That doesn't matter," said her mother. "All flying things are birds to God. That's why he tells us about bats along with owls."
"I see," said Beth.

"If you carry the dead body of something icky, then you should wash your clothes, because you'll be icky for the rest of the day.
"Anything that has paws is icky, and if you touch a dead one, then you are icky for the rest of the day. You should go wash your clothes."

"Philistine and her puppies are icky?" asked Beth.
"Yes, Dear One," said her mother.
"Gosh," said Beth.

"Icky creeping things include weasels, mice, tortoises, ferrets, chameleons, lizards, snails, and moles. They're icky when they're dead. Don't touch them or you will be icky for the rest of the day.
"Anything that crawls on its stomach is gross, and so is anything that creeps and has a lot of feet. Don't get yourself gross by eating or touching a dead one of these.
"Because I am God, you should be careful not to touch or eat creeping things. That's because I'm the same God that helped you get out of Egypt.
"Anyway, that's the rules for animals, birds, animals in the water, and creeping animals. Now you can tell which animals are icky and which aren't, and which ones you can eat and which ones you can't."

Beth thought about this for a moment. "I don't think I'll have much trouble obeying those rules," she said to her mother, although she wasn't sure she was all that interested in eating animals that barfed up their food and ate it again.
Then she smiled, hugged her mother, and ran outside to eat crickets and honey with John. All her questions had been answered.