The Story of Many Descendants

Numbers 26:1-65

"Do you really know the whole Bible?" Beth asked her mother one night before bedtime.
"Indeed I do, Dear One," said her mother. "Here, name any part of the Bible and I will recite it to you as a bedtime story."
"Oh boy!" said Beth, excited by the prospect of challenging her mother. "How about Numbers 26?" she said, picking a Number off the top of her head.
Her mother was silent for a moment. "Are you sure that's the one you want, Dear One?" her mother asked. "There are other, more interesting chapters."
"You mean you don't know that one?" teased Beth.
"Not at all!" said her mother, rising to the challenge. "You asked for Numbers 26, and that is what you will get!"
And this is the story she told:

One day God was talking to Moses and Eleazar and said, "Count how many people there are who are more than twenty years old and able to go to war."
Moses and Eleazar told everyone to count how many people were in their families that had been brought from Egypt.
Reuben, the eldest son of Israel, had children named Hanoch, Pallu, Hezron, and Carmi. They had 43,730 children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and other children. And the son of Pallu was Eliab, and his sons were Nemuel, Dathan, and Abiram. This is that Dathan and Abiram who had an argument with Moses and Aaron and the earth opened up and ate them up together with Korah, and about 250 men caught fire at the same time as a sign from God. Not all of Korah's children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and other children died, though. The sons of Simeon were Nemuel, Jamin, Jachin, Zero, and, uh, Shawl. Simeon had 22,200 children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and other children. The children of Gad were Zephyr, Haggi . . .

"What's the matter, Mother?" Beth asked when her mother's voice trailed off for a moment. "Are you having trouble remembering?"
"Oh no, Dear One," her mother said. "It's just that this part has a lot of names and it's a little difficult. Let me continue."

The children of Gad were Zephyr, Haggi, Shaun, Ozone, Eerie, Arid, and Aerial. Gad had 40,500 children. The sons of Judah were Er and Onan who died in Canaan. The sons of Judah were Shellac, Phrase, and Sarah.

"Judah had a son named Sarah?" Beth asked.
"Please, Dear One," said her mother, "it's hard to remember when you interrupt."

Phrase's sons were Heron and Camel. Judah had 76,500 children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and other children. The sons of Icecatcher were Cola, Pepsi, Bubbleup, and Limon. Icecatcher had 64,300 children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and other children. Zebrabum's sons were Seared, Ellen, and Cornmeal. There were 60,500 sons in Zebrabum's family. The sons of Joseph were Manicure and Esophagus...

"Gosh, Mother, that was great," said Beth, cutting her mother off. "I'd better be getting some sleep now."
"But I'm just getting warmed up, Dear One," said her mother. "We could try Joshua 12, if you prefer."
"That's all right," said Beth. "Maybe another time." And with that she put her head under her pillow and went to sleep. All her question had been more than answered.