During the winter, Beth had a very bad cold. She got a high fever, became delirious, and started talking in her sleep.
Beth's mother was very concerned and spent all day and all night at Beth's bedside, making sure that she was all right. For that reason, Beth's mother heard Beth talking in her sleep about Beth's father's friend Clora and all the times that Clora came to visit while Beth's mother was out of the house.
Later that evening, Beth's father came in to check on Beth. He asked how Beth was doing and Beth's mother said that she was fine. Then Beth's mother said to Beth's father, "Honey, are you putting your penis in a woman who isn't me?"
"Oh, uh, no," said Beth's father, looking casually around Beth's room so that he wouldn't have to make eye contact with his wife.
"That's good," said Beth's mother. "Because I promise that if I ever find out that you are, I will cut off your head with a chainsaw and bury it in the back yard."
Beth's father got a strange look on his face, turned, and walked out of the room.
When he was gone, Beth's mother saw that Beth was stirring and decided to tell her a story to calm her.
And this is the story she told:
One day Moses told the leaders of the Israelites, "Here's a rule from God: If a man makes a promise then he should not break that promise. If a woman makes a promise when she is living with her father, and her father hears her, and he doesn't say anything, then all her promises should be kept. But if her father doesn't like the promise and tells her so on the same day that she made it, then she doesn't have to keep the promise and God will forgive her.
"If a woman has a husband when she makes a promise and her husband hears it and doesn't say anything, then she should keep her promise. But if her husband doesn't like the promise and tells her on the same day that she made it, then she doesn't have to keep the promise and God will forgive her.
"But every promise of a widow or a divorced woman should be kept.
"And if a woman makes a promise and her husband doesn't say anything and then he breaks the promises somehow, then he's in trouble. That's the law of God."
Beth didn't say anything after the story was over because she was asleep, but her mother smiled and hugged her daughter. Beth's father hadn't said anything, so God wouldn't be mad if Beth's mother had to keep her promise.
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