The Story of Being Holy

Leviticus 19:1-37

In Sunday school, Beth heard the teacher talk about many holy people. Many of them were saints, but some were just good people. Beth decided that she wanted to be holy, too.
When she got home, Beth was happy to see that her mother was back after having been gone for a couple of weeks. Beth asked her mother how she could grow up to be holy.
"The Bible tells us how," said Beth's mother, unpacking her suitcase. "Let me tell you a story about what you must do to be holy."
And this is the story she told:

One day, God was talking to Moses and he said, "Tell everybody that they should be holy because I'm holy and I'm God. To be holy, you have to follow these rules.
"Be afraid of your parents," God continued, "and don't work on Saturday because I'm God."

"Wait a minute, Mother," said Beth. "I don't want to be afraid of you."
"But maybe you should be, Dear One," said her mother in a calm, matter-of-fact way that Beth didn't like at all.

"Don't worship statues of other gods or make statues of me out of metal. I'm God. And if you kill or burn something for me, God, do it because you want to, not because you have to. Also, eat anything you kill or burn for me the day you kill or burn it, or the next day. Any leftovers after that should be burned in a fire. If you eat old leftovers, then you're disgusting. Disgusting people get thrown out of town.
"When you're gathering food from a field, don't take the food from the field's corners. When you get the grapes from your vineyard, leave some behind for the poor people and strangers to eat. I'm God."

"Does that mean it's all right to take stuff from someone else's garden if you are poor or if they are a stranger?" Beth asked.
"Of course, Dear One," said her mother.

"Don't steal, cheat, or lie. And don't use my name to make a promise unless you are going to keep the promise. Don't say my name in nasty ways, either. I'm God.
"Don't cheat your neighbors or rob them. If you hire someone, don't wait until tomorrow to pay him. Don't say things behind deaf people's backs, or trip blind people, but be afraid of me. I'm God.
"When you are on a jury, be honest. Don't say that someone is innocent just because they are poor or powerful. Don't walk around gossiping or say bad things about your neighbors. I'm God.
"Don't hate your brother, tell your neighbor to get lost, or do bad things to a neighbor. Don't bear grudges. Love your neighbors as much as you love yourself. I'm God."

"If it's bad to bear grudges, then why does God get mad at people for things that their grandparents did?" asked Beth.
"God can do anything," answered her mother. "He is all-powerful."
"Does that mean that if Father did something that made you mad that you would forgive him and not bring it up later?"
"Please Beth," said Beth's mother, "there are still many rules for me to tell you."
"Don't break these rules. Don't let your cows have sex with other kinds of animals. Don't plant different seeds in the same place or make clothes out of linen and wool at the same time."

"Does that mean that 50/50 cotton/polyester clothing is bad?" asked Beth.
"It is if you want to be holy, Dear One," answered her mother.

"And if a man puts his penis in a slave who has a husband and doesn't pay for it or set her free then he should be beaten. Normally, he would be killed, but he owned the woman so it wasn't so bad. He should set a boy sheep on fire for me to make up for it, though. Also, nobody should eat any fruit from his fields for four years. I'm God.
"Don't eat anything with blood in it. Don't use magic or do astrology."

"But I thought that God put the stars in the sky so that astrology would work," said Beth.
"That's true, he did," said her mother. "But that doesn't mean that it's all right to do astrology."

"Don't smooth out any corners on your head or trim your beard. Don't cut yourself because someone died or get tattoos. I'm God.
"Don't make your daughter a woman who charges men money to put their penises in her or everyone might do it and that would be bad. Don't work on Saturday and be nice when you are in the temple. I'm God."

"God said that one about Saturday before," whispered Beth.
"Don't criticize God's speech," said her mother.

"Don't talk to people who talk to dead people or are wizards because they will make you icky. I'm God.
"Be nice to old people and afraid of me. I'm God.
"If a stranger comes to town, be nice to him. But if a stranger comes to live with you, treat him like he was born in your town because you were strangers in Egypt. I'm God.
"Be honest when you are weighing and measuring things. I'm God and I helped you leave Egypt, so follow these rules. I'm God."

Beth thought about this for a moment. Then she smiled and hugged her mother. All her questions had been answered, and she knew that she would be holy some day. So long as she remembered not to sell her daughters into prostitution, that is.